It's Not About Winning

Marriage is not about winning.

As a mother to a four-month old baby daughter, I came across so many wonderful online shops for mommies here in the Philippines.

From Lazada.com.ph, I bought cheap Lansinoh breast milk bags and baby bottle electric sterilizer.

From Mom & Milly Educational Toys and Kara Mia Educational Toys, I bought wooden toys to help make learning numbers, letters and colors fun.

And from Mommy Says PH, I came across this lovely variety of multi-bin toy organizers, selling for a reasonable Php 3399.00.

I was excited upon seeing these multi-bin toy organizers. Not only were they cute, but they are also utilitarian and can teach my daughter in the future the value of being organized.

I had my eyes set on the Sesame Street multi-bin toy organizer. I loved the cleanness of it, and it suits both genders in case I have a boy the next time around. What's more, Elmo is featured!

I showed them to my husband. To my surprise, he immediately said, "I want Spider-Man!"

Spider-Man? I didn't even notice any Spider-Man!

I looked again. And there it was --- Spider-Man.

"But our daughter would much rather prefer a Hello Kitty, Princess or Frozen-themed organizer," I commented back. "Or at least, there's Sesame Street or Mickey Mouse, which fit both boys and girls!"

"I don't care," my husband retorted back. "I want Spiderman."

I thought about it the next day. I really really wanted Sesame Street.

Husband on the other hand, is dead set about Spider-Man.

I think I may have asked him several times the next day whether he was really serious about getting Spider-Man for our daughter. He wasn't serious, was he?

He was.

"I want Spiderman for our daughter," he stubbornly answered.

As I was going to my office, I thought long and hard whether I should just get Elmo and Sesame Street. I know I can get away with it. My husband would just look at the Toy Bin Organizer once and we will get on with our lives. It's not as if I've never done it.

But as I reflected upon this harder, I realized that marriage was a series of these small decisions between husband and wife.

It is on these small decisions that determine if the marriage will be happy or not.

You can't win all the time, nor can you lose all the time. There has to be a balance.

So I asked myself, "Will it kill me to get the Spider-Man?"

No.

"Will Spider-Man be an eye-sore for all these girly things we currently have?"

Yes.

"But can I live with a Spider-man toy bin?"

Yes. 

It's a bin --- so it will serve the same purpose as Sesame Street.

Last question: "Will it make my husband happy to win this time around?"

Yes.

So I ordered the Spider-man bin.

After I paid the deposit, I breathed a sigh of relief. Sure, I didn't win this time, but who said I had to win all the time?

And I cannot help but see what my husband's face will be when he sees his Spider-Man bin.

I can almost hear his heart yell, "I win! I win! I win!"

And do you know what? I think it's fine by me.